Heavens Gain

Last night I recieved a call from my mom...not knowing exactly what to expect I answered it. My grandfather (Ganga) has been declining in his health for quite some time.  We know that his time is limited here on earth....just we dont know the when.



My grandparents wedding photo next to ours

She told me that he was beginning to slip and that they were calling all the grandchildren to give them an opportunity to talk to him one more time...to say goodbye.  I was not expecting this...what do I say? What can I tell him? Will he hear me? Can I offer him any consolation in the midst of his suffering?

The Holy Spirit came, my heart was opened, and the words came...I think it was the first time in awhile that I felt the total freedom to share my heart without any reservation. I told him how much I love him, how much he means to me and our family. I told him he was my hero and that he and my Moga are such an amazing example to me and Courtney and what we want to have in our marriage. I  told him he was an amazing man, husband and father. I told him that I loved and admired his strong faith and love of the Lord...and then I told him I love you...your little Penelope P. Quatzfazzle( the nickname he gave me as a child...)

The tears rolled down my face, my heart ached, and my mind raced. As I finished my conversation and told my mom goodbye, and as I wait to get the final call I have been reflecting non-stop on that conversation. One thing that I never said to him was "good bye"...why did I not say goodbye? Because thanks to the beautiful faith that my Grandfather was a wittness to I know this is not goodbye, I know this is not the end...this is only beginning.  My loss is Heavens Gain...eternity with Christ.  My Grandfather suffered but did not complain, he loved us through his last years, days, and I am sure even in his last hours...he never stops loving us and will continue to do so as he worships and adores our Lord in heaven. When he gets to heaven I know that he will hear the words..."My good and faithful servant"...and for all of us he is leaving behind here...we have an amazing opportunity to absorb the grace of this moment...to remember Ganga in the memories he has given to us...we all have them...for me the list is growing daily as I recollect all the beautiful moments I had with him.
I am not saying in any way that this does not hurt, it does. My heart aches...and he is not even gone yet. I know it will ache for awhile...which is further testimate to what an amazing man he is...but I will hold him close to my heart. I will pray for him and I will ask him to pray for me...I heard him tell me in my heart,since he is unable to speak, something he told me all of the time...Kelley, I love you and I am so proud of you...I heard his voice...and I know this was such a gift from the Lord to me.
I hope and pray to be the wife my Grandmother is to my Grandfather, and to be blessed to live long enough to be married almost 69 years....maybe more.  I thank God for the beautiful life of Charles Tillman Hill, and I hold my little Tobias Charles-Marie close today...sending those hugs to my Grandparents....
I will not say goodbye...I will say I will see you one day....holding onto the beautiful faith and hope that my Grandfather taught me....
I love you Ganga!

Though young men faint and grow weary, and youths stagger and fall, they that hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will soar as with eagles wings, they will run and not grow weary, walk and not grow faint" Isaiah 40:30-31

As soon as I finished this post I received the call...
Eternal Rest grant unto thee Oh Lord, And may the souls of the faithful departed through the Mercy og God Rest in Peace....

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.  Hebrews 12:1-2